Tuesday, September 23

forced freedom

It's so strange, how time changes everything....

It's been roughly two months since I posted here, and so much has changed.  I actually moved a few weeks ago, and have been working to get settled in since that time.  I had this plan to be all smart and whatnot when I moved, and sell all the furniture I knew I would be replacing prior to said move, to make everything easier.  The problem, though, is that I now have basically no furniture.  I'm serious. I currently own a bed, a sofa, a bedside table and an end table.  Don't get me wrong, it's nice to not have that sitting around and trying to work around that in 600 square feet.  But it also means that, until I start getting the new furniture in, I'm basically living out of packing tubs.  As a minimalist, I love having the extra space, but as someone who likes to stay reasonably organized, I also feel alittle like I'm living in a barely-controlled state of chaos at the moment.  The good news is that I'm about 2/3 of the way through building a set of 'built-in' bookcases for my living room, and that alone will make a huge difference. (I'll post photos when I have it up and running!)

Xander has finally settled in and gotten into a routine and comfortable at the new place. We're still working out a few of the kinks, but that's to be expected.


All in all, though, being back at the farm has been really good for me.  I'm happier overall than I have been in awhile.  I didn't have internet access for the first couple of weeks, which (although frustrating in the moment) gave me time to step back and think, take inventory, and realize that what I want most right now is to be inspired & to create.  To be in nature more, live more, and live wholeheartedly.

This always seems to happen to me as we start into Fall; I find my stride, the balance I have been missing all during the summer months.

http://nhcornmaze.com/images/2008-CHF-Falldriveway01.gif

All of this clarity has actually helped me make decisions about a few other things as well.  Firstly, my day job.  I was actually let go at the end of last week because the position was being eliminated and outsourced.  Now, I won't deny that I have financial worries creep in here and there.  But honestly? I'm kindof relieved.  Maybe I shouldn't be; I don't know.  At the end of the day, even though I (mostly) loved my work, the company wasn't a good fit for me.  I could freak out at the loss of financial security.  But I just don't see the point.  I'm actually happy right now, so why not enjoy that? Why not enjoy the new opportunities before me?  Ultimately, I know exactly what I want to do, but more on that in a minute.  In the meantime, I still have to pay the bills, but I need to find something that allows me to be work creatively.

So onto that whole "I know exactly what I want to do" thing.  If you've followed me for awhile or come over from my other site, you know that I'm an artist.  But I also write and want to inspire people, be inspired myself.  And I've recently come to the conclusion that I'm tired of hiding pieces of myself.  

Having this space -- this blog -- has given me the headspace I needed to figure everything out and get clear on where I want to take this life.

But I don't want to splinter myself anymore and send pieces of me in all different directions.  In the coming weeks, I will (technically) be letting go of this blog space.  Notice I said technically.  Because what I've actually done is to roll this and my other site into one.  A blog and website that is holistic, bringing all of me together.  I don't know what will come of it, but I know this is something I have to do.
You don't have to have it figured out to move forward...

My words for 2014 were simplicity and deep dive, and these are things I've been working to manifest all year.  I've moved, cleaned out & simplified my daily life, and I'm working to simplify my online life. I've let go of Facebook for business and am considering letting go of a couple of other things.

The new website has been re-branded under ExploringCanvas.com, and I'd love to have all of my readers here come over and visit.   Please note that this just happened a few days ago; it will be a bit of a process over the next couple of weeks, so it's not completely perfect yet, but rather a work in progress.

See you there.

xo -

candace

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